You have redeemed yourself Brian.
I didn’t believe it when someone told me I was addicted to crossword puzzles, but all the clues were there.
I can't find my "Gone in 60 Seconds" DVD.
It was here a minute ago.
My wife left me because she said it was annoying how I related everything in life to Batman.
What a Joker.
The jumper I got for Xmas kept picking up static electricity so I took it back to the shop & exchanged it for another one.
Free of charge.
A lorry carrying a load of snooker equipment has crashed on the M25...
The driver is under a rest and the cues go back miles!
Remember when plastic surgery was a taboo subject?
Now you mention Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.
My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I gave her some superglue instead.
She’s still not talking to me!
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two-tyred.
A kitchen knife and fork had a race.
It ended in a drawer.
Bloody hell mate, your hard to please.
So you mongrels think you're so tough because you jumped me outside my Campervan! Hahaha I still handled all of you... I came out of my...
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