I didn’t believe it when someone told me I was addicted to crossword puzzles, but all the clues were there.
I can't find my "Gone in 60 Seconds" DVD.
It was here a minute ago.
My wife left me because she said it was annoying how I related everything in life to Batman.
What a Joker.
The jumper I got for Xmas kept picking up static electricity so I took it back to the shop & exchanged it for another one.
Free of charge.
A lorry carrying a load of snooker equipment has crashed on the M25...
The driver is under a rest and the cues go back miles!
Remember when plastic surgery was a taboo subject?
Now you mention Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.
My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I gave her some superglue instead.
She’s still not talking to me!
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two-tyred.
A kitchen knife and fork had a race.
It ended in a drawer.
Bloody hell mate, your hard to please.
So you mongrels think you're so tough because you jumped me outside my Campervan! Hahaha I still handled all of you... I came out of my door and I...
The Ol` long drop toilet.
Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out, "Pa! You need to go out and fix the outhouse!"
Sorry Chris, to far for us as we head to tassie a couple days later.
Hello there Kelly, long time no see. Yes as Bert said we Toyota now, just after bit more comfort and less stress.
[ATTACH] This was spotted broken down about 5 hours ago on the roundabout near maccas. It made the local paper on their Facebook site.
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