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Crap joke thread....

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Schmoburger, Oct 16, 2006.

  1. rstucke

    rstucke Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    966
    Location:
    Wamberal NSW AUS
    A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by an Irish cop. He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from LONDON and is certain that he has a better education then any Irish cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Irish cop's expense!


    Irish cop says,"License and registration, please."


    London Lawyer says, "What for?"


    Irish cop says,"Ye didnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign."


    London Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."


    Irish cop says,"Ye still didnae come to a complete stop. License and registration, please"


    London Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"


    Irish cop says, "The difference is, ye huvte come to complete stop, that's the law. License and registration,please!"


    London Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."


    Irish cop says, "Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir."


    The London Lawyer exits his vehicle.


    The Irish cop takes out his baton and starts beating the living s**tout of the lawyer and says,

    "Daeye want me to stop, or just slow down? "
     
    cbus, Wayne murray, TeeBee and 5 others like this.
  2. Barry

    Barry Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    3,590
    Location:
    Abbotsford NSW
  3. wirrah

    wirrah Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,910
    Location:
    Lower Hunter, NSW
    Not really convinced about this wireless technology. It will take some getting used to. 2004-08-15-003.jpg
     
    TeeBee, Ninga, rstucke and 1 other person like this.
  4. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
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    Location:
    Bracken Ridge, Qld
  5. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    19,780
    Location:
    Bracken Ridge, Qld
  6. Barry

    Barry Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    3,590
    Location:
    Abbotsford NSW
    The local parking officer had died and a handful of mourners had gathered for his funeral.
    The priest was finishing up his words as the casket was being lowered into the grave.
    All of a sudden some noises came from the casket and a feeble voice calls out “stop!..... I’m not dead yet!”
    The priest looks up, shuts his bible and walks away as he says “sorry mate, paperwork has been done. Nothing I can do”
     
    Wayne murray, MAP77, Ninga and 2 others like this.
  7. MAP77

    MAP77 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    415
    Location:
    Campbelltown NSW
  8. Wattie

    Wattie Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    923
    Location:
    Mildura. Victoria. Australia.
  9. Wattie

    Wattie Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    923
    Location:
    Mildura. Victoria. Australia.
  10. Wattie

    Wattie Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    923
    Location:
    Mildura. Victoria. Australia.
  11. Jerome

    Jerome Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,205
    Location:
    Mentone
  12. MAP77

    MAP77 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    415
    Location:
    Campbelltown NSW
  13. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    19,780
    Location:
    Bracken Ridge, Qld
  14. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    19,780
    Location:
    Bracken Ridge, Qld
  15. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    19,780
    Location:
    Bracken Ridge, Qld
  16. Jerome

    Jerome Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,205
    Location:
    Mentone
  17. Grantus

    Grantus Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    15,660
    Location:
    Southern ACT
    It is said, that sometimes when you play a rock vinyl record backwards, satanic verses can be heard............

    But if you play a country and western record backwards:


    Your truck is fixed, your dog is alive, and your wife comes back to you!
     
    Last edited: May 31, 2019
    Jerome, Wayne murray, oldman and 2 others like this.
  18. Jerome

    Jerome Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,205
    Location:
    Mentone
  19. Jerome

    Jerome Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,205
    Location:
    Mentone
  20. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    19,780
    Location:
    Bracken Ridge, Qld

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