1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Crap joke thread....

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Schmoburger, Oct 16, 2006.

  1. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    19,981
    Location:
    Bracken Ridge, Qld
    A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Dakota. He shot a bird, but it fell into the field on the other side of the fence.

    As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.

    The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."

    The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."

    The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in New York and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."

    The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in North Dakota. We settle small disagreements like this with the Three Kick Rule."

    The lawyer asked, "What’s the Three Kick Rule?"

    The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."

    The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

    The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees!

    His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.

    The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and remaining strength and very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."

    The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."
     
  2. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    19,981
    Location:
    Bracken Ridge, Qld
  3. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    19,981
    Location:
    Bracken Ridge, Qld
  4. Jerome

    Jerome Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,260
    Location:
    Mentone
  5. tintop

    tintop Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    540
    Location:
    Canberra
    The washing machine was playing up so I said I'd pull it apart and have a look. Sharon said for me to stick to my cars - reckons I'm not to good with appliances...anyway, while she was out I had a bit of a tinker - she's in for a shock
     
    Ninga likes this.
  6. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    19,981
    Location:
    Bracken Ridge, Qld
  7. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    19,981
    Location:
    Bracken Ridge, Qld
  8. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    19,981
    Location:
    Bracken Ridge, Qld
  9. MAP77

    MAP77 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    438
    Location:
    Campbelltown NSW
  10. rstucke

    rstucke Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,047
    Location:
    Wamberal NSW AUS
  11. rstucke

    rstucke Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,047
    Location:
    Wamberal NSW AUS
  12. BrianK

    BrianK Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    7,390
    Location:
    Mount Gambier, SA
    My heart is so heavy right now!! I just saw you yesterday and now you’re gone.

    R.I.P to my whole damn pension payment.

    #gonetoosoon
     
    chris taylor and TeeBee like this.
  13. chris taylor

    chris taylor Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,910
    Location:
    adelaide sth aust
    Oh boy.......:(
     
  14. MAP77

    MAP77 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    438
    Location:
    Campbelltown NSW
  15. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    19,981
    Location:
    Bracken Ridge, Qld
    That's deflating :(
     
    BrianK, MAP77 and chris taylor like this.
  16. MAP77

    MAP77 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    438
    Location:
    Campbelltown NSW
    61273753_999736266901944_3129535887394734080_n[1].jpg
     
    Jerome, David H and Ninga like this.
  17. rstucke

    rstucke Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,047
    Location:
    Wamberal NSW AUS
  18. David H

    David H Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,007
    Location:
    newcastle
    chris taylor likes this.
  19. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    19,981
    Location:
    Bracken Ridge, Qld
    Why couldn't the bike stand on it's own?
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Because it's two tired. :confused:
     
    MAP77 likes this.
  20. MAP77

    MAP77 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    438
    Location:
    Campbelltown NSW

Share This Page