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Crap joke thread....

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Schmoburger, Oct 16, 2006.

  1. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    19,871
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    Bracken Ridge, Qld
  2. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    19,871
    Location:
    Bracken Ridge, Qld
  3. Wattie

    Wattie Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    928
    Location:
    Mildura. Victoria. Australia.
  4. Wattie

    Wattie Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    928
    Location:
    Mildura. Victoria. Australia.
  5. 68BUS

    68BUS Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    4,476
    Location:
    Brisbane
    Coles Supermarkets have brought in a new law...
    If you buy cabbage from Coles, you're legally required to purchase carrots and mayonnaise as well...
    It's Coles Law...
     
  6. BrianK

    BrianK Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    7,368
    Location:
    Mount Gambier, SA
    I wonder how much for what’s in the box?

    43D31F97-A492-49CE-99CA-5BEBA6DF4047.jpeg
     
    Ninga, Wayne murray, tintop and 4 others like this.
  7. BrianK

    BrianK Well-Known Member

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    7,368
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    Mount Gambier, SA
  8. David H

    David H Well-Known Member

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    4,813
    Location:
    newcastle
    I belly laughed on this one Brian but loved both posts:D.
    Cheers
     
    BrianK likes this.
  9. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    19,871
    Location:
    Bracken Ridge, Qld
    Can't see it so it must be invisible :eek::confused::p
     
    BrianK likes this.
  10. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    19,871
    Location:
    Bracken Ridge, Qld
    Mate got put on a 95% water diet :eek:
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    He's got to drink 3 litres a day :confused:
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    Lucky for him beer is 95% water ;):cool::p
     
  11. BrianK

    BrianK Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    7,368
    Location:
    Mount Gambier, SA
    On the first day God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give you back the other ten."
    So God agreed.

    On the second day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks and make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty-year life span." The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?"
    And God agreed.

    On the third day God created the cow. "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves, and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years."
    The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty and I'll give back the other forty."
    And God agreed again.

    On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. I'll give you twenty years."
    Man said, "What? Only twenty years? Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back, and the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back, that makes eighty, okay?"

    Okay," said God, "You've got a deal."

    So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves; the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren; and the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

    Life has now been explained to you.
     
    cbus, Wattie, oldman and 5 others like this.
  12. BrianK

    BrianK Well-Known Member

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  13. BrianK

    BrianK Well-Known Member

    Messages:
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    Mount Gambier, SA
  14. oldman

    oldman Super Moderator Staff Member

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    Location:
    Avalon Beach NSW
    Waaaaay back, I washed windows to pay the rent......buddy of mine referred to me as a ,
    “Vision Unit Technician “ ......true story !
    Cheers,
    Mark
     
    Wayne murray, David H, BrianK and 2 others like this.
  15. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
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    Location:
    Bracken Ridge, Qld
    Had a client in a Government Department and to get through management event invitation restrictions with suppliers, he would state he had been invited to a Global On Line Forum (GOLF) :D ..... always a good way to discuss business off the cuff and ensure there were no supply, service or product quality issues :cool:
     
    BrianK and TeeBee like this.
  16. MAP77

    MAP77 Well-Known Member

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    429
    Location:
    Campbelltown NSW
  17. BrianK

    BrianK Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    7,368
    Location:
    Mount Gambier, SA
  18. reelmick

    reelmick Active Member

    Messages:
    109
    Location:
    lake macquarie
    I shouldn't have flushed my wooden shoe down the toilet Now its clogged
     
    TeeBee, Wattie, MAP77 and 2 others like this.
  19. gazman

    gazman Well-Known Member

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  20. oldman

    oldman Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
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    Avalon Beach NSW
    ....oh dear.......
    Truly a crap joke.....
    Well done !! ;)
    Cheers,
    Mark
     
    Ninga likes this.

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