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Crap joke thread....

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Schmoburger, Oct 16, 2006.

  1. T1 Terry

    T1 Terry Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,397
    Location:
    Mannum South Australia
    One for the festive season

    Dear Santa,
    This year I'd like you to give me a big fat bank balance and a nice slim body.
    ... and please don't get them mixed up like you did last year.
    Thanks
    T1 Terry
     
    tintop, oldman, Wayne murray and 3 others like this.
  2. oldman

    oldman Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    8,992
    Location:
    Avalon Beach NSW
    Wind generators.....:rolleyes:
    Cheers,
    Mark
     
  3. Wayne murray

    Wayne murray Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    3,422
    Location:
    Seven hills
    whinge generators;)
     
  4. cbus

    cbus Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    12,364
    Location:
    sunshine coast
    Beans ?
     
    Ninga and oldman like this.
  5. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    20,553
    Location:
    Bracken Ridge, Qld
    As in Blazing Saddles :rolleyes:

     
    Syncro27 and Barry like this.
  6. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    20,553
    Location:
    Bracken Ridge, Qld
    What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    A Candy Baaahhhh
     
    Wayne murray and Barry like this.
  7. Grantus

    Grantus Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    16,572
    Location:
    Southern ACT
    A polar bear and her cub are walking along the ice, when the cub asked, “Mum, what kind of bear am I?”

    “You’re a polar bear son”, was her reply.

    They walk a little further, when the cub says, “Are you sure I’m not a grizzly bear?”

    “Nope, you are a polar bear”, answers the mum.

    They continue on, then the cub pipes up “Maybe I’m a brown bear?”.

    “Look at your white fur son. You are a polar bear!” States the mother, getting a little fed up.

    “So you don’t think I’m a Koala Bear?” The mother stops, looks at the cub and says, “Look around. Do you see a single tree? No, so you are a polar bear!”


    The cub looks at her, and says:”Well if I’m a polar bear........ why am I so bloody cold then?”
     
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2019
  8. rstucke

    rstucke Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,298
    Location:
    Wamberal NSW AUS
    I just heard this statement from J Rush on the news.
    goes something like.
    I experienced a sterilisation of my economic potential

    Gonna use that in the future.
     
    Grantus and oldman like this.
  9. David H

    David H Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,711
    Location:
    newcastle
    Sperm donor?
     
  10. Barry

    Barry Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    4,339
    Location:
    Abbotsford NSW
  11. deeksy62

    deeksy62 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    728
    Location:
    Sawtell
  12. Wayne murray

    Wayne murray Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    3,422
    Location:
    Seven hills
    How do you make beauty equal.


    Beauty is only a light switch away.
     
    rstucke likes this.
  13. Grantus

    Grantus Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    16,572
    Location:
    Southern ACT
    I’m not 100% sure I get this joke...o_O

    Hopefully @David H will be able to explain it to me. :rolleyes:
     
    Syncro27, Barry and oldman like this.
  14. cbus

    cbus Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    12,364
    Location:
    sunshine coast
    Lowest common denominator .....
    No one is allowed to be beautiful so that the ugly buggers don't complain.
    Applies to a lot of things now days.:rolleyes:
     
    oldman, Syncro27, Ninga and 1 other person like this.
  15. David H

    David H Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,711
    Location:
    newcastle
    Every one is beautiful in their own right & all 0f you sarcastic buggers are;).
    Cheers
     
    micklyan and TeeBee like this.
  16. Grantus

    Grantus Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    16,572
    Location:
    Southern ACT
    So why the light switch, in that joke? o_O

    Still don’t get it..........:confused:
     
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  17. David H

    David H Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,711
    Location:
    newcastle
    You're pretty with the light off;).
    Cheers
     
  18. Grantus

    Grantus Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    16,572
    Location:
    Southern ACT
    Thanks, Got it now...it’s yet another physicality joke! :)


    Like whether it’s a one paper bag over the head, or two paper bags situation.... incase one comes off in the moment?
     
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2019
    Syncro27, oldman, Barry and 1 other person like this.
  19. MAP77

    MAP77 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    553
    Location:
    Campbelltown NSW
  20. oldman

    oldman Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    8,992
    Location:
    Avalon Beach NSW
    Oh dear......:rolleyes:
    Cheers,
    Mark
     

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