Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Schmoburger, Oct 16, 2006.
Sharon asked me to fix the 240v power to the kitchen. I refused
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus she noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again.
The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.
The young man replied, Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn’t help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said, “The Double Mint Twins are coming” and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, “Logan’s Liniment will reduce the swelling”, and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, “William’s Big Stick Did the Trick”, and I could hardly contain myself.
BUT, Your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, “Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident”, I just lost it.
They don't have the Flintstones in Saudi Arabia ........... But Abu Dhabi do
My wife left me last night saying that i love my football more than her.........
shame really as we have been married for 16 seasons
Hey, if anyone knows how to fix some broken hinges ..... my door's always open
Four old retired guys are walking down a street in Port Macquarie.
They turned a corner and see a sign that says, 'Old Timers Bar – all drinks 10 cents.?
They look at each other, and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true.
The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room,
'Come on in and let me pour one for you!
What'll it be, Gentlemen?'
There seemed to be a fully-stocked bar, so each of the men ask for a martini.
In short order, the bartender serves up four iced martinis.
Shaken, not stirred, and says, 'That'll be 10 cents each, please.'
The four men stare at the bartender for a moment.
Then look at each other...they can't believe their good luck.
They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round.
Again, four excellent martinis are produced with the bartender again saying,
'That's 40 cents, please..' They pay the 40 cents, but their curiosity is more than they can stand.
They have each had two martinis and so far they've spent less than a dollar.
Finally one of the men says, 'How can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for a 10 cents each?'
'I'm a retired tailor from Sydney,' the bartender said, 'and I always wanted to own a bar.
Last year I hit the Lottery for $25 million and decided to open this place.
Every drink costs ten cents - wine, liquor, beer, it's all the same.'
Wow!!!! That's quite a story,' says one of the men.
The four of them sipped at their martinis and couldn't help but notice seven other people at the end
of the bar who didn't have drinks in front of them, and hadn't ordered anything the whole time they were there.
One man gestures at the seven at the end of the bar without drinks and asks the bartender, 'What's with them?'
The bartender says, 'Oh, they're all old retired farts from the caravan park waiting for happy hour when drinks are half price.'
Pretty good advice for some, as it then saves having to apologise when you sober up......
Take all the fun out of checking in Grant
Only a suggestion....... might save some embarrassment from narrow minded righteous BS rants.
Let’s move on.....
An open apology was made.......
Indeed there was....... let’s just hope it was a behavioural learning curve, and that no more will be needed.
Separate names with a comma.