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Crap joke thread....

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Schmoburger, Oct 16, 2006.

  1. BrianK

    BrianK Well-Known Member

    Messages:
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    Mount Gambier, SA
  2. MAP77

    MAP77 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    565
    Location:
    Campbelltown NSW
    Who can drink 20 litres of petrol .............. Jerry can!
     
    Wattie, Wayne murray, BrianK and 2 others like this.
  3. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

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    The wife has been missing a week now ..... Police said to prepare for the worst ..... So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.
     
    Wattie, BrianK and Ninga like this.
  4. BrianK

    BrianK Well-Known Member

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    Location:
    Mount Gambier, SA
  5. rstucke

    rstucke Well-Known Member

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    Wamberal NSW AUS
  6. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
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    Location:
    Bracken Ridge, Qld
    I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave.
    As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin.
    3 hours later and they're still walking about with it.
    I thought to myself, "These guys have lost the plot!"
     
    MAP77, Wayne murray, TeeBee and 5 others like this.
  7. MAP77

    MAP77 Well-Known Member

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    Campbelltown NSW
  8. MAP77

    MAP77 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    565
    Location:
    Campbelltown NSW
  9. BrianK

    BrianK Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    7,588
    Location:
    Mount Gambier, SA
    So I was in the McDonald’s drive-through this afternoon and the lady behind me honked at me and flipped me off because I was taking to long to order.

    So I paid for her food.

    I moved up and she leaned out the window looking all crazy at me because the teller told her I paid for her food. She felt embarrassed.

    When I got to the second window to get my food, I showed them both receipts and took her food too!

    I paid for it, it’s mine! Now she has to wait even longer.

    She gonna learn today!
     
    Ninga, oldman, MAP77 and 3 others like this.
  10. BrianK

    BrianK Well-Known Member

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    7,588
    Location:
    Mount Gambier, SA
  11. Grantus

    Grantus Well-Known Member

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    16,607
    Location:
    Southern ACT
    An elderly wife was booking her husband into a high care facility, when she asks the doctor in charge of the care home, how do they test for what stage of dimentia their patients have.

    “It’s quite simple”, replied the doctor. “We fill up a bathtub with water, and give the patient a teaspoon, a cup, and a bucket. We then ask them to decide, which method would be the quickest way to move all the water out of the bath.”

    “I didn’t realise it was that simple”, replied the wife. “Obviously the bucket would be the quickest way.”


    The Doctor looked at her, and said, “Most people just say to remove the bath plug.......... So which room would you like?”
     
    Wattie, Barry, MAP77 and 2 others like this.
  12. MAP77

    MAP77 Well-Known Member

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    565
    Location:
    Campbelltown NSW
  13. MAP77

    MAP77 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    565
    Location:
    Campbelltown NSW
    What do you call a Jewish person from New Zealand?

    He brew.
     
    Barry likes this.
  14. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

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    20,621
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    Bracken Ridge, Qld
  15. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
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    Bracken Ridge, Qld
    A mate of mine admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time.
     
    MAP77 likes this.
  16. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    20,621
    Location:
    Bracken Ridge, Qld
  17. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    20,621
    Location:
    Bracken Ridge, Qld
  18. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    20,621
    Location:
    Bracken Ridge, Qld
  19. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    20,621
    Location:
    Bracken Ridge, Qld
    What's Forrest Gump's password?
    .
    .
    oneforrestone
     
  20. Barry

    Barry Well-Known Member

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    4,371
    Location:
    Abbotsford NSW
    Geeez......... out did yourself here
     

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