Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Schmoburger, Oct 16, 2006.
I resemble that remark!
Murphy said to Paddy, "what the f@#k are you doing talking into envelope",
Paddy said "I'm sending a voice mail you thick b@$t@rd"!
The Cruel Sea …
The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, a Claddaghduff, Ireland man answered his door to find two grim-faced Constables.
"We're sorry, Mr O’ Flynn, but we have some information about your dear wife, Maureen" said one of the officers.
"Tell me! Did you find her?" Michael Patrick O’ Flynn asked.
The constables looked at each other and one said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which would you like to hear first?"
Fearing the worst, Mr O’ Flynn said, "Give me the bad news first."
The constable said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but early this morning we found your poor wife's body in the bay.
""Lord sufferin' Jesus and Holy Mother of God!" exclaimed O’ Flynn. Swallowing hard, he asked,"What could possibly be the good news?"
The constable continued,
"When we pulled the late, departed poor Maureen up, she had 12 of the best-looking Atlantic lobsters that you have ever seen clinging to her. Haven't seen lobsters like that since the 1960's, and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch."
Stunned, Mr O’ Flynn demanded,
"Glory be to God, if that's the good news, then what's the really great news?"
The constable replied
"We're gonna pull her up again tomorrow."
And soon no family jewels.
No avocado either (spec saver add)
I don't know why I even bother having a smartphone anymore.
It spends so much time on charge, you might as well call it a land-line.
What do camels use to hide themselves
Separate names with a comma.