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Crap joke thread....

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Schmoburger, Oct 16, 2006.

  1. tintop

    tintop Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    540
    Location:
    Canberra
    A fella, wearing nothing but gladwrap, goes to see a psychiatrist.

    The psychiatrist says 'I can clearly see your nuts' :rolleyes:
     
    TeeBee and Wayne murray like this.
  2. David H

    David H Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,019
    Location:
    newcastle
    Staying with the "family friendly forum" idea tintop:oops:?
    Cheers
     
  3. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
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    What's green and sings?
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    Elvis Parsley
     
    Ninga likes this.
  4. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

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  5. oldman

    oldman Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
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    Location:
    Avalon Beach NSW
    Sorry Brian but some jokes are just distasteful
    ..............no problem with that Brian but let's consider the (many) victims of paedophile abuse that would not see ANY reference to their experience as funny.
    Ridicule the perpetrator by all means but consider the collateral damage for the victims, please...........;)
    Cheers,
    Mark
     
  6. tintop

    tintop Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    540
    Location:
    Canberra
    when you tuck your shirt in do you say 'goodnight shirt'?
     
    oldman likes this.
  7. Barry

    Barry Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    3,756
    Location:
    Abbotsford NSW
    They wouldn’t let me in to a night club on the weekend.
    Gorilla on the door said I didn’t have a neck tie on.
    Went back to the car and fossicked around and all I could find was some jumper leads.
    I put those around my neck and went back to the club.
    The gorilla on the door looks me up and down and says “ok - in you go, but don’t try and start anything!”
     
    BrianK, Wattie and tintop like this.
  8. Alpal

    Alpal Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    8,509
    Location:
    Melbourne Bend of Islands
    With Mark on this one.
     
    micklyan likes this.
  9. tintop

    tintop Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    540
    Location:
    Canberra
    I buy milk in one of those two litre bottles with a handle - the person at the checkout always asks if I want it in a plastic bag.......crazy talk
     
    wombatventures and oldman like this.
  10. Barry

    Barry Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    3,756
    Location:
    Abbotsford NSW
    upload_2019-4-2_20-37-15.png

    aaa
     
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2019
  11. MAP77

    MAP77 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    440
    Location:
    Campbelltown NSW
  12. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
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    Location:
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    Why don't ants get sick?
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    Because they have antybodies :eek:
     
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  13. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    19,984
    Location:
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  14. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
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    Location:
    Bracken Ridge, Qld
    Did you hear about the cat that joined the Red Cross?
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    He became a First Aid Kit.!!
     
  15. BrianK

    BrianK Well-Known Member

    Messages:
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    Location:
    Mount Gambier, SA
    Walking across the road today and got hit by a hire car.
    Bloody Hertz




    Little jonnys turn came up in class to tell what he did the day before, the sunday, well miss he says i was down at the lake shoving fire crackers up frogs arses, little jonny! Says thr teacher dont you mean rectom, yes miss he says bloody oath it wrecked em
     
    Wayne murray and Barry like this.
  16. Grantus

    Grantus Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    15,880
    Location:
    Southern ACT
    Growing up is a weird notion to wrap your mind around. As you go through life, your perspectives on almost everything will change. How you define success will change as well. Things that you thought were important at the age of 35 will be useless when you're 65. You may not realize it now, but everything will shift...

    At age 4 success is not peeing in your pants.

    At age 12 success is having friends.

    At age 17 success is having a drivers license.

    At age 20 success is having sex.

    At age 35 success is having money.




    At age 60 success is having money


    At age 70 success is having sex.

    At age 80 success is having a drivers license.

    At age 85 success is having friends.

    At age 90 success is not peeing in your pants.



    It all comes full circle, whether you like it or not.
     
    Last edited: Apr 3, 2019
  17. David H

    David H Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,019
    Location:
    newcastle
    Love it Grant:). Maybe my age tho;)!
    Born naked & incontinent. Money in the middle. Die naked & incontinent;):D:(:p.
    Cheers
     
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  18. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

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  19. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    19,984
    Location:
    Bracken Ridge, Qld
  20. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    19,984
    Location:
    Bracken Ridge, Qld

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