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Crap joke thread....

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Schmoburger, Oct 16, 2006.

  1. Barry

    Barry Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    3,756
    Location:
    Abbotsford NSW
    9E881625-56EB-4198-961B-BBA529CD98FF.jpeg

    Dunno if this is meant to be a joke but this is the local Optometrist up at Gladesville.
    Been there since the 70’s.

    Been meaning to take a photo of this ages

    Crap Eye the Optometrist can work with W R Phang the Dental Suregon from Pink Floyd’s “ A Nice Pair”
     
    Mr Beckstar, MAP77, Wattie and 6 others like this.
  2. Ninga

    Ninga Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    986
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    Tumut
    My uncle died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.
     
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  3. TeeBee

    TeeBee Well-Known Member

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    Outer East Melbourne
  4. Jerome

    Jerome Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,262
    Location:
    Mentone
  5. MAP77

    MAP77 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    440
    Location:
    Campbelltown NSW
  6. BrianK

    BrianK Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    7,391
    Location:
    Mount Gambier, SA
    Murphy's sat in the pub crying, some days before, his glass eye fell in his drink, and he swallowed it.

    Paddy says "Murphy, has it come out the other end, yet?"
    Murphy says. "No, it hasn't, Ive taken loads of feckin' laxatives and the buggers still up there!"

    Paddy says "Murphy, come outside, bend forward against the wall, drop your kecks, and I'll take a look up there for it!"

    They do that, Murphy drops his kecks and leans against the wall. Paddy bends down, spreads Murphys cheeks, and starts squinting up there.

    After about five minutes Murphy says "Paddy, can you see it yet?"

    Paddy says "Not yet, Murphy!"

    Murphy says. "That's funny, cos I can see you!"
     
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  7. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    19,984
    Location:
    Bracken Ridge, Qld
    On Lamma Island (Hong Kong) there is a small village called Sok Kwu Wan which I visited a couple of times back in the mid 1980's ..... renowned for the seafood restaurants with some unusual names eg. Fu Kee Seafood Restaurant and also the Wan Kee Seafood Restaurant :p - damn good food @ both;).
     
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  8. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    19,984
    Location:
    Bracken Ridge, Qld
  9. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    19,984
    Location:
    Bracken Ridge, Qld
  10. Jerome

    Jerome Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,262
    Location:
    Mentone
  11. wombatventures

    wombatventures Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    889
    Location:
    Peterborough SA
  12. gazman

    gazman Well-Known Member

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    Perth WA
  13. tintop

    tintop Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    540
    Location:
    Canberra
    I accidentally handed Sharon a glue stick instead of a chapstick. She still isn't talking to me
     
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  14. Grantus

    Grantus Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    15,878
    Location:
    Southern ACT
    Is that a good thing? (May upset some KC members.... :confused:)

    Or a bad thing? :(



    Or simply a joke.......? :D
     
  15. tintop

    tintop Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    540
    Location:
    Canberra
    but seriously, this cold and wet weather has been getting me down. I've just been standing, looking through the window for days. I hope she lets me back inside soon
     
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  16. MAP77

    MAP77 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    440
    Location:
    Campbelltown NSW
  17. Barry

    Barry Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    3,756
    Location:
    Abbotsford NSW
    From the Edinburgh Fringe Festival

    "I keep randomly shouting out 'broccoli' and 'cauliflower' - I think I might have Florets.”

    "Someone stole my antidepressants. Whoever they are, I hope they're happy"

    "What's driving Brexit? From here it looks like it's probably the Duke of Edinburgh"

    "A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows. I said, 'Yes, of course. That's 20 cows'.”

    "A thesaurus is great. There's no other word for it.”

    "Sleep is my favourite thing in the world. It's the reason I get up in the morning.”

    "I accidentally booked myself onto an escapology course; I'm really struggling to get out of it.”

    "After learning six hours of basic semaphore, I was flagging.”

    "To be or not to be a horse rider, that is equestrian.”

    "I've got an Eton-themed advent calendar, where all the doors are opened for me by my dad's contacts.”
     
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  18. MAP77

    MAP77 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    440
    Location:
    Campbelltown NSW
  19. David H

    David H Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,018
    Location:
    newcastle
    I'd be surprised if the guitar won;).
    Cheers
     
  20. Wayne murray

    Wayne murray Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    3,008
    Location:
    Seven hills
    It pulled a few strings:eek::confused:;):D
     
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