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Crap joke thread....

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Schmoburger, Oct 16, 2006.

  1. MAP77

    MAP77 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    796
    Location:
    Campbelltown NSW
  2. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    21,624
    Location:
    Bracken Ridge, Qld
    MAP77 likes this.
  3. T1 Terry

    T1 Terry Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,498
    Location:
    Mannum South Australia
    Melisa's post about getting a BMW as security for the lone of her Kombi brought this oldie to mind:
    The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my multilane highways, which was very busy with inferior cars.
    First off, I couldn’t believe that the volume of traffic DIDN’T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the exit ramp! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway!
    The driver of the car behind me did realize his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn.
    Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane.
    Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 1180km/h enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 110km/h!
    Naturally, I got within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn’t be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way.
    Of course, once he realized it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me!
    He also tried to keep up with me and when he realized I would out-run him, he put on some blue and red lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.
    Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew – that my car goes fast!
    Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to go with him to a courthouse where he was suggesting they might take away my driver’s license because I wouldn’t need it any more, but the man in the funny robe suggested I have some points put on! (They’re not free points either – they’re around $500 each and I was only allowed 3.) But the man at the police station said that because I drive a BMW, it won’t be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won’t even NEED a driving license, so they will take it off me then!
    See, now THAT’S the sort of respect you get when you own and drive a BMW!

    T1 Terry
     
  4. deeksy62

    deeksy62 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    753
    Location:
    Sawtell
    A Sultan's wife is called a Sultana... or, sometimes, his currant wife [​IMG][​IMG]
     
    drivesafe, Grantus and KahunaKombi like this.
  5. Jurgen Grossmutter

    Jurgen Grossmutter Active Member

    Messages:
    458
    Location:
    Ipswich
    Doesn't matter what you call em they'd be raisin a fuss
     
    drivesafe, deeksy62, grumble and 3 others like this.
  6. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    21,624
    Location:
    Bracken Ridge, Qld
  7. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    21,624
    Location:
    Bracken Ridge, Qld
  8. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    21,624
    Location:
    Bracken Ridge, Qld
  9. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    21,624
    Location:
    Bracken Ridge, Qld
  10. KahunaKombi

    KahunaKombi Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    21,624
    Location:
    Bracken Ridge, Qld
  11. Grantus

    Grantus Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    17,395
    Location:
    Southern ACT
  12. Barry

    Barry Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,027
    Location:
    Abbotsford NSW
  13. BrianK

    BrianK Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    7,715
    Location:
    Rockingham WA
  14. BrianK

    BrianK Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    7,715
    Location:
    Rockingham WA
  15. wirrah

    wirrah Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,199
    Location:
    Lower Hunter, NSW
    Not yet... Fortunately the paint work has survived.

    2018-01-28-027.jpg
     
    Grantus, Barry and BrianK like this.
  16. T1 Terry

    T1 Terry Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,498
    Location:
    Mannum South Australia
  17. MAP77

    MAP77 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    796
    Location:
    Campbelltown NSW
  18. MAP77

    MAP77 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    796
    Location:
    Campbelltown NSW
  19. BrianK

    BrianK Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    7,715
    Location:
    Rockingham WA
  20. Jurgen Grossmutter

    Jurgen Grossmutter Active Member

    Messages:
    458
    Location:
    Ipswich

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