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Crap joke thread....

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Schmoburger, Oct 16, 2006.

  1. Jurgen Grossmutter

    Jurgen Grossmutter Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    820
    Location:
    Ipswich
    Ok, so I'm not saying all, but many are.

    In the second year of teaching l was a sewing and cooking lady which l joke about.

    At the start of the year my Head Teacher said be careful of the overlocker's blades. "Don't let the students leaves the pins in the garment being sewn as they go thru the overlocker blades". Over the space of two weeks sure enough 3 kids had problems with damaging the blades.
    16 kids in the class
    12 boys
    4 girls
    Of the 4 girls 3 were blondes
    The 3 blondes were the ones that had damaged the blades.
    When the 3rd girl had done it l lamented, "Not again!"

    The only brown haired girl said, "Sir, and they're all blondes". I couldn't help but laugh. And seriously it happened too many times to not be a thing. But not all blondes are like that l understand
     
    Last edited: May 16, 2022
    njg02 and wirrah like this.
  2. wirrah

    wirrah Well-Known Member

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    Lower Hunter, NSW
  3. wombatventures

    wombatventures Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,797
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    Peterborough SA
  4. Jurgen Grossmutter

    Jurgen Grossmutter Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    820
    Location:
    Ipswich
    At the local constabulary this is known as cop porn
     
    wirrah likes this.
  5. Grantus

    Grantus Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    19,272
    Location:
    Southern ACT
  6. Jurgen Grossmutter

    Jurgen Grossmutter Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    820
    Location:
    Ipswich
  7. tintop

    tintop Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,081
    Location:
    Canberra
    Dad: “GO TO YOUR ROOM NOW!”
    Child: *storms off* “JIM MORRISON WAS OVERRATED!”
    Dad: “WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT SLAMMING THE DOORS!?”
     
  8. wirrah

    wirrah Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    3,006
    Location:
    Lower Hunter, NSW
  9. Grantus

    Grantus Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    19,272
    Location:
    Southern ACT
  10. MAP77

    MAP77 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,032
    Location:
    Campbelltown NSW
  11. MAP77

    MAP77 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,032
    Location:
    Campbelltown NSW
  12. MAP77

    MAP77 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,032
    Location:
    Campbelltown NSW
  13. MAP77

    MAP77 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,032
    Location:
    Campbelltown NSW
  14. T1 Terry

    T1 Terry Well-Known Member

    Messages:
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    Location:
    Mannum South Australia
  15. wirrah

    wirrah Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    3,006
    Location:
    Lower Hunter, NSW
    - Hello! Gordon’s Pizza?
    - No sir it’s Google’s Pizza.
    - So it’s a wrong number?
    - No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza.
    - OK. Take my order please …
    - Certainly Sir sir, would you like the usual?
    - The usual? You know me?
    - According to our caller ID, the last 12 times, you ordered pizza with cheeses, sausage, thick crust…
    - OK! That’s it
    - May I suggest to you this time ricotta, arugula with dry tomato?
    - No, I hate vegetables
    - But your cholesterol is not good
    - How do you know?
    - Through the subscribers guide. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years
    - Okay, but I do not want this pizza, I already take medicine
    - You have not taken the medicine regularly, 4 months ago, you only purchased a box with 30 tablets at Drugsale Network
    - I bought more from another drugstore
    - It’s not showing on your credit card
    - I paid in cash
    - But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your bank statement
    - I have another source of cash
    - This is not showing as per you last Tax form unless you got it from undeclared income source
    - WHAT THE HELL? Enough! I’m sick of Google, Facebook, twitter, WhatsApp. I’m going to an Island without internet, where there is no cell phone line and no one to spy on me
    - I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport as it expired 5 weeks ago.
     
    chris taylor, Wattie, oldman and 5 others like this.
  16. wombatventures

    wombatventures Well-Known Member

    Messages:
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    Location:
    Peterborough SA
  17. BrianK

    BrianK Well-Known Member

    Messages:
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    Mount Gambier
  18. BrianK

    BrianK Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    8,131
    Location:
    Mount Gambier
  19. Jurgen Grossmutter

    Jurgen Grossmutter Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    820
    Location:
    Ipswich
    I worked for one of them once and was sacked by another because of her incompetence.
     
    BrianK and KahunaKombi like this.
  20. Grantus

    Grantus Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    19,272
    Location:
    Southern ACT

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