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Sanity Sux

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by BrianK, Jun 10, 2009.

  1. BrianK

    BrianK Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    7,372
    Location:
    Mount Gambier, SA
    Have just been talking to one of my sister in yarraville.
    My youngest sister cheryl was put in werribee looney bin about 4 months ago. she was not a fruit cake before she went in there. she was just a lovelly young lady whos husband died. she could not handle him being gone. they were married for 25 years with no kids. she just decided she could not handle it any more. i have not been allowed to see her or speak to her since the day she went in there. Today they let her out for a couple of hours. my other sister gloria found her in her unit watching the funeral service all over again. i have no words to comfort her. i have been phoning for months without any avail.

    not looking for sympathy guys. just maybe what i could do to talk to her. :heart:
     
  2. Doc

    Doc Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,904
    Location:
    Gunnedah
    Go to her and sit with her ....you can't solve those kind of problems ...... just be a presence and a support no words can heal that grief.
     
  3. BrianK

    BrianK Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    7,372
    Location:
    Mount Gambier, SA
    thanks doc, i just told cathy we are going there tomorrow. and when we get there just let someone tell me i cant see her.
     
  4. Doc

    Doc Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,904
    Location:
    Gunnedah
    Brian just remember you are not supposed to fix the problem and neither can she just get better ......she will need to limp for a while ......and while she's limping its good to have some strong supports around .......
     
  5. Dubman

    Dubman Well-Known Member

    Someone very close to me suffers from depression and although she is now dealing with it well and it rarely crops up, in the early days there wasn't much I could do except be there. a hug, a smile, even just sitting and holding hands it seems small but as she has since told me it was what she needed like a brief view through the fog. Being there for them is the best medicine the rest will come. patience and love is what you have to offer.
     
  6. Dingostrategy

    Dingostrategy Active Member

    Messages:
    4,322
    Location:
    SW Vic ++
    That's beautifully put.

    We often do nothing for fear of not being able to all that we would hope for people we love (or those we care for in our jobs). Letting go of the idea of fixing everything will help you be there. And being there will make a huge difference to her days, her dignity and her future.
     
  7. Bulli

    Bulli New Member

    Messages:
    628
    Location:
    south australia
    I agree, just one's presence can be comfort.
     
  8. kommodius

    kommodius Active Member

    As others have said, just be there Brian. It's all you can do mate.

    Thinking of ya mate.

    Ray & da Boyz
     
  9. BrianK

    BrianK Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    7,372
    Location:
    Mount Gambier, SA
    Thanks guys for your kind words and advice. i done the quick trip down thursday, low and behold, they told her she could go home friday, whilst i was there. so ive been down and was back at work today. quick trip in the ford. As i said to her yesterday, its all up to you now mate. so will wait and see how she goes. After 4 months i hope she will cope. :)
     
  10. BrianK

    BrianK Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    7,372
    Location:
    Mount Gambier, SA
    Not looking for any symphathy guys, but Cheryl is back in Wereibie, just got off the phone from my dear old mum, 86years young.
    Her husband aniversay is coming up so they chucked her in there to be safe. I am planning to go down in a fortnights time to see her and give her a big cuddle. Poor kid is only 51.:heart:
     
  11. Zombi

    Zombi Active Member

    Messages:
    1,245
    Location:
    Camooweal QLD
    Glad you are care for your sis mate!
    Keep up the good work.
     
  12. 3Amigos

    3Amigos Active Member

    Messages:
    3,094
    Location:
    THE HOUSE ON THE HILL
    SHE WILL GET BETTER.......with love and support.
     
  13. kyznet

    kyznet Active Member

    Messages:
    4,671
    Location:
    Ashgrove 4060
    A big hug from you is bound to make her feel better Brian. What a nice brother you are. Shows how important family is during the good and bad times.
     
  14. Royce

    Royce Active Member

    Messages:
    1,226
    Location:
    Goulburn NSW
    Brian, I have a sister who also has had her struggles, as well as a brother who, no thanks to his drug habit, has developed paranoid schizophrenia (sp?) and I can hear you when it comes to how you feel. Having been a carer for various people in my life, both young and old, can I offer a word of advice, please, remember to look after yourself through all this. It can really affect you if you are not careful, and now is when your sister needs you the most. be strong and PM me or call if I can be of any help what so ever.

    Regards

    Royce
     
  15. BrianK

    BrianK Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    7,372
    Location:
    Mount Gambier, SA
    Took me 7 phone calls to speak to cheryl tonight. the people at the hostpital would not allow it.
     
  16. BrianK

    BrianK Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    7,372
    Location:
    Mount Gambier, SA
    Not sure what i done wrong, but that bloke upstairs dont like me. just got call from brother in sydney. the mother is still in hostibal. i knew that. Cheryl is back in looney bin, i only spoke with her saturday night. And now my brother Harry in brisbane has just had a stroke. must be my turn next, :mad:
     
  17. BrianK

    BrianK Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    7,372
    Location:
    Mount Gambier, SA
    im batching at the moment, so i will prolly get nicked for that.:lol:
     
  18. 3Amigos

    3Amigos Active Member

    Messages:
    3,094
    Location:
    THE HOUSE ON THE HILL
    chin up mate..:D
     
  19. glow-monkey

    glow-monkey Active Member

    Messages:
    1,319
    Location:
    Kenilworth QLD
    Brian, maybe if things happen in threes, then nothing else will happen to you.

    Dont take it to heart if you call and get told you cant speak to your sister, 13 yrs ago I was hospitalised for supposed depression (that was later diagnosed as post traumatic stress) at the time I was aware enough of myself to know i wasnt coping, and hated the idea of what that would do to my family and friends, I didnt want them to see me like that, and as such asked to have no contact or visitors allowed. It was hard for my family and friends to stand back and feel so helpless, but for me at the time, I could cope with the thought of being a burdeon to people that were paid to do it but not with the thought of doing that to the ones I cared about. Hopefully as time passes she will gain strength in her self.
     
  20. Grantus

    Grantus Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    15,743
    Location:
    Southern ACT
    Thoughts are with you Brian & Cathy.....

    Just had 2 deaths in the family within 10 days.

    I funeral down, and one to go.

    Sorting the details, along with other nasty stuff.

    Didn't dare say "what else can go wrong" to a friend on the phone yesterday, then Ms Grantus arrived home to say, "look at my car!"

    She was parked in a friends driveway, when the neighbour backed her VW Tourag into the SAAB, wiping out the front left guard, and the passenger door....

    Today, I managed to run over an object on the road in the KangaBanga, severe enough to bend a front left rim, forcing it to knock against the suspension. Roadside stop, to swap the the front left with the rear left, just to get home.



    It's not a matter of "threes", but multiples of threes here....

    Should I actually get out of bed tomorrow? :cry:
     

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